Love conquers most, but not all

Pleasant surprise last night :) 

Never expected to receive anything this year, you would know what I mean if you'd read my previous blogpost.

Yes, I did have a date.

Proudly annoucing...............

MY COMPUTER! ^^

He was so efficient in providing me the latest updates about happy couples everywhere, yeah.

From various sources - twitter, foursquare, instagram. 

Hohoho all the happy couples sharing their joyous moments while I happily try not to feel too depressed.

It's okay! My date still did a great job, he actually played awesome music to ease my mind :)

Spent the first hour of Valentine's with my awesome gfs ^^

Okay I sound so retarded. Here's reality:

My boy fell asleep the previous night without wishing me happy valentines till noon. (small matter)

Next, we argued and I was so frustrated I din even know if we were celebrating this occasion.

Like should I even do him a post Valentines card or get him a present? Tskkkk.

Did my nails on Vday too, mine's the one on the right! teehee as professional as the manicured one on the left right!

Sometimes I don't have any clue about what I'm hanging on to, really.

This complicated thing between us is deficit of passion and spice.

Almost 6 mths 'together' and yet we've not much memorable events to boast of.

Tired of how unromantic and how insensitive you can be.

Like a broken arrow

I kinda get what people mean when they say depressional thoughts are contagious.
And I think I've been infected.
When you're feeling all time low and the people around you ain't doing any better themselves, the virus spreads like wildfire, it's easy to get hooked on.

So I've spent a lot of the past 3 days reblogging emotional tumblr quotes (on a seperate tumblr which I newly created - obviously I won't taint the timeline of my public tumblr with negativity.) There's always this dark side of everyone, of which I keep mine in check pretty well. Yes, my insecurities would probably eat me up alive. I can't let all the shit in my head get to me so I'm blocking them out on a daily basis.

It's quite fucked up, I disgust myself wondering why I feel this maze of emotions which I can never seem to resolve.
And its a vicious cycle that hits the rewind button every time night befalls.

That said, sometimes I do feel like an expert in being emotionless.
It's gotten to the point that I can actually numb myself and eradicate the pain immediately.
No thoughts, no feelings, just point blank.
It's been chucked into the RAM of my mind, waiting for someone to agitate it before I stash it deeper.
The safe zone. Where all my pain is contained, and no one can reach it. Not even ME. LOL
It's a place where I avoid visiting, and I'll prolly need to move mountains before I'd  be willing to budge near those boundaries.
Yes, I've locked up those feelings well.

OKAY THIS IS A SUPER RANDOM POST.

On a happier note, FINAL YEAR PRESENTATION IS OFFICIALLY OVER!
Now I'm left with the bits and pieces of work to clear up - reflective essays, peer evaluation, last min tutorials etc. HEHEHEHE.

I can't believe I actually managed to sail through this major project despite all the negative experiences that cropped up along the way. (Everyone had conflicts, relationship problems yada yada the list goes on) The process to getting this project done was super tedious, how many sleepless and late nights that saw me through hearing the morning birds and sleeping only when the Sun was up.
I really can't wait for this week to be over, and 12 days to study before my 2 final papers, AND GRADUATE!!!!!

GRADUATION IS ANOTHER SCARY PROCESS I WILL TALK ABOUT IN A LATER POST.
Gonna rush my BCOMM Sales Solution now, CIAOSSSSSS ^^

Stel, Me, Reina!

P/s: Happy with my winnings in banluck + baccarat @ Mingzhou's house last Saturday!

Pp/s: I really wanna have a gathering with all my Secondary sch gfs soon. Still owe Wanlim a birthday surprise and dinner since Dec 5. Everyone's been so busy and all. Sighhhhhh. ):

Sunny and cloudy

What do you do when someone has sent you into a state of confusion?
Sit down, inhale deeply, yet the final verdict is - you are still unsure of how to proceed.

It isn't funny lah really. One moment you're prince charming, the other you're the devil's worse nightmare. Make up your mind leh. I definitely do not have all the time and energy in the world to dedicate to the self-centered you.

Just when I wanted to re-prioritze my happiness, you made it seem like the world revolved around me. Thanks ah. Now I'm stuck anticipating your next move, yet expectations tend to lead to disappointments.
HOWHOWHOW?!!! ):

Unacknowledged presence.

First off, I don't know how to go about writing this post.
There's so many things which I'm unable to express in words.
My confusion, my dilemmas, my screwed mind which chooses to fuck up during my common test period.

On one hand, things were supposed to be simple and smooth sailing. Had no intention of letting such interruptions enter my life.
But since it has already commenced, I only have this to say:

Hi, fyi, you don't just tell a person you love them and let them go in the blink of an eye.
Shouldn't one person work towards his/her goals?
Come on, if you're even in the least bit interested in the person, even 'stalking' the person is considered a slight effort made right.
Look if you're even planning to settle any confusion you have, then you shouldn't claim to be 'holding on' yet make no effort.
It's all words, don't you see?
What good are meaningless words?
With such hesitation and restriction you enforce on yourself, all I can assure you is that you aren't gonna gain anything.
I've taken initiative on my part to see if anything could be salvaged, if you're not gonna fulfill your part, then sorry i'm washing my hands off you.
I don't see why you should deserve my attention when I'm not worthy enough for yours.
Just don't cry and regret losing me to others who've fought hard for me.

"Sometimes, you don't realize how much you care for someone, until they stop caring for you..."

"We ignore those who want us, want those who ignore us, and love those who hurt us and hurt those who love us... " - so trueeee, this is always the case, its so hard to find someone else who wants you as much as you want them no?

Meeting her for the first time.

I received cold treatment from the girl.
If you guys have been reading my previous posts then I guess its obvious who I'm referring to.
Well, I met him and a few of the guys today at Sitex.
And she was there too.
She probably recognised me, and I can't tell if she hates me or not, because I was ignored by her the whole time.
I was treated with oblivion. (Can't say for sure though, because actually I avoided making eye contact with her too)


Well anyway, today's the first time meeting her in real, upfront and upclose.
Apparently she's not as nice as I thought.

Looks can be deceiving.

From her pictures with him, she seemed cute and friendly.
Thought she wouldn't hold any grudge against me anymore, because the situation has already tided over for several days.


I did try to sneak glances to her at times, trying to catch her eye & hoping for a smile of sorts, but failed.
To think I simple-mindedly thought we could at least be hi-bye friends of sorts.
Seems like she did not carry that same intention though.
She probably thought I was a thick-skinned nuisance tagging along with them.
Got dao-ed by her the whole time. OH WELL.


Was left wondering about her unfriendly attitude towards me.
She did not roll her eyes or glare at me, but chose to ignore me totally instead.
Thought it was already explained to her that me and him would be good friends and nothing else.
Her attitude made me hesitate to speak to him even as a friend, because I was worried she would think the wrong way if I was too friendly etc. -.-
Is her jealousy or anger gonna hold out till so long?
Seeing them so sweet together today, she really should know her place in his heart, there's nothing much she ought to get mad or be jealous about.
Love is different from attraction, she's one lucky girl. ^^
It's obvious why he chose her over me right :)


Hope that when I see them again, I can at least smile at her and we could probably chat.
That's an if... provided the circumstances.
And I definitely won't want to be ignored, nor encounter another awkward situation.

PEACE(Y)

HI, i'm random :)

shag face after doing project.

Having long chats with him everyday :)
Guess we're getting to know each other more and more!
And I think we're still highly attracted to each other, cos we super power pack can talk so long into the nights for several days straight. Haha!
Been a long time since I talked so late into the night with someone on the phone.

Hehe I'm feeling bliss, but I keep wondering if I'm doing the wrong thing and am I spoiling someone's else happiness in the process.
I hope I'm not doing something wrong because I don't wanna get karma knocking on my door one day.
Maybe its my personal perspective. aiyahhh, I'm so confused!

But I'm too selfish to let go or ignore anything either. :S
Din realise I could be so selfish in this sense, cos I've never encountered such a problem before!

Anyway, I iz heading out to haz dinner with him and the others now! Byebye.

Complicated stuff, sometimes I just don't wanna give a shit.

Bff left for Korea this morning!
Awww, thank god she's only going there for 6 days, because I need her to help me dye my hair soon haha.
But I hope she thoroughly enjoys herself there, because this year I din go overseas with her although I'd mentioned it before.
Such cold weather and a fun time to escape Singapore, I wish for an overseas escapade right now too :x

Anyway I've to get cracking on my tutorials before I delay till its too late again.
I've delayed a couple of tutorials and now I'm LAGGING BEHIND AS USUAL. (I grasp things slow luhhh, need to double the effort of a smartie)

Please, I hope I've not met another player in my life.

Really need to meet a good person, I hate complicity.

And I definitely don't like reading between the lines.

Cut things short, what on earth is happening now!

Sigh, the irony and confusion of everything.

WHY DID THINGS CHANGE :(:(:(

My life was going smoothly before these complications arose! D:

DON'T FORGET MY ADS PEOPLE!! :):)