I kinda get what people mean when they say depressional thoughts are contagious.
And I think I've been infected.
When you're feeling all time low and the people around you ain't doing any better themselves, the virus spreads like wildfire, it's easy to get hooked on.
So I've spent a lot of the past 3 days reblogging emotional tumblr quotes (on a seperate tumblr which I newly created - obviously I won't taint the timeline of my public tumblr with negativity.) There's always this dark side of everyone, of which I keep mine in check pretty well. Yes, my insecurities would probably eat me up alive. I can't let all the shit in my head get to me so I'm blocking them out on a daily basis.
It's quite fucked up, I disgust myself wondering why I feel this maze of emotions which I can never seem to resolve.
And its a vicious cycle that hits the rewind button every time night befalls.
That said, sometimes I do feel like an expert in being emotionless.
It's gotten to the point that I can actually numb myself and eradicate the pain immediately.
No thoughts, no feelings, just point blank.
It's been chucked into the RAM of my mind, waiting for someone to agitate it before I stash it deeper.
The safe zone. Where all my pain is contained, and no one can reach it. Not even ME. LOL
It's a place where I avoid visiting, and I'll prolly need to move mountains before I'd be willing to budge near those boundaries.
Yes, I've locked up those feelings well.
OKAY THIS IS A SUPER RANDOM POST.
On a happier note, FINAL YEAR PRESENTATION IS OFFICIALLY OVER!
Now I'm left with the bits and pieces of work to clear up - reflective essays, peer evaluation, last min tutorials etc. HEHEHEHE.
I can't believe I actually managed to sail through this major project despite all the negative experiences that cropped up along the way. (Everyone had conflicts, relationship problems yada yada the list goes on) The process to getting this project done was super tedious, how many sleepless and late nights that saw me through hearing the morning birds and sleeping only when the Sun was up.
I really can't wait for this week to be over, and 12 days to study before my 2 final papers, AND GRADUATE!!!!!
GRADUATION IS ANOTHER SCARY PROCESS I WILL TALK ABOUT IN A LATER POST.
Gonna rush my BCOMM Sales Solution now, CIAOSSSSSS ^^
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| Stel, Me, Reina! |
Pp/s: I really wanna have a gathering with all my Secondary sch gfs soon. Still owe Wanlim a birthday surprise and dinner since Dec 5. Everyone's been so busy and all. Sighhhhhh. ):
